[018] What is success?
the biggest win is learning that you get to decide what a win is.
To the person:
Success—what does it truly mean? The world around us often presents a singular definition: career achievements, financial wealth, and social status. While these things can be significant, they don't encompass the entire spectrum of what success can represent.
From a young age, we’re forced to live with societal expectations. We see success portrayed in the media, celebrated in our communities, and often validated by those closest to us. But what if this universal definition of success isn't right for everyone? What if your version of success looks completely different?
Imagine a life where you set your own benchmarks. Success could mean cultivating deep personal relationships, pursuing a passion project, achieving a healthy work-life balance, or simply finding inner peace. When you start to challenge the traditional narrative, you gain the power to define success on your own terms.
Take Sarah, for instance. She was thriving in a high-paying corporate job, but felt a deep sense of unfulfillment. After much introspection, she realized that her true passion lay in teaching and helping others. Sarah left her corporate career to become an educator, and although it came with financial sacrifices, she found a level of happiness and satisfaction she never knew before.
Or consider John, who turned down a promotion that would have meant more money but also longer hours and less time with his family. For John, success meant being present for his children’s milestones and creating lasting memories with them.
These stories exemplify how redefining success can lead to true freedom and fulfillment.
Steps to Redefine Success
1. Reflect on Your Values
Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your core values and beliefs? What brings you joy and fulfillment?
2. Set Personal Goals
Once you’ve identified your values, set goals that align with them. These goals should be personal and meaningful to you, not just based on societal standards.
3. Embrace Change
Redefining success may require significant changes in your life. Embrace these changes with an open heart and mind, knowing they are steps towards your authentic self.
4. Celebrate Your Unique Journey
Every step you take in defining success for yourself is a victory. Celebrate these milestones and recognize your growth along the way.
Embrace Your Unique Definition of Success
You can never truly be free until you start defining success for yourself. The journey may be challenging, but the reward is a life of authenticity, joy, and genuine fulfillment.
To the player:
One thing about high-level basketball players that I’ve always admired is that they have their own definition of what success looks like. Throughout my career, I struggled with comparing myself to other people and not being fully content with the results I was getting based on the work I put in. This led to an unhealthy cycle of putting my expectations in other people telling me that I was good enough or in others giving me opportunities to show my skills.
The truth is, when you get to the highest level of basketball, sometimes you don’t get a fair chance to show what you can do. That’s part of the game and part of learning how to fight through adversity on your journey to becoming the type of player you want to be. Just because you don’t get the benefit of the doubt right now doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself in a situation later where you are looked at as the best player and expected to perform at that level.
That’s why it’s so important to define success by the things you can control. Too often, players use metrics they have no control over to measure their success, which sets them up for failure if things don’t go as planned. I understand that there are universal metrics for success or individual accolades, but typically the best way to achieve these is to set actionable goals that you have complete control over.
When you’re able to define success in a way that highlights the dedication you put into your work instead of external accolades, you take your power back and give yourself the best chance to be successful over the long run as your situation changes throughout your career. Of course, it’s fulfilling to have other people recognize the work you’ve put into something, and we all want that. But at the end of the day, if we have to rely on other people to ensure our mental game is where it needs to be to perform consistently, then we are putting ourselves behind the eight ball.
Keep striving for greatness and working tirelessly to make your dreams come true. As you continue on your journey, try to become a little more conscious of how you define what success looks like to you.
